Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

Burp

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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