Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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