Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

There was a chicken. It squarked.

What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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