Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops