Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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