- Anti Joke

What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

what did one computer say to the other .........

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Okay.

Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops