Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

69

Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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