Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Potassium? K.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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