why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a black chef glendon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops