Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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