Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops