Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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