There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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can you pass the soap?

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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