Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

thumb_up thumb_down +15

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

blubber vaginass CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -5

William Raines.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops