"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

knock knock? come in

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

knock knock Goodbye

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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