Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

It's likely that very few people will read this.

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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