What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Indians

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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i committed murder

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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