Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man was shot. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make a snake blink? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops