A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down -23

wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -23

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops