Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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