Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

There once was a man from Nantucket.

whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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