Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops