What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

Women's Rights..

How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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