whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't he finish his

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

thumb_up thumb_down -24

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops