Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

what is worse than a guy pissed?

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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