What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

What's 9+10? 19

Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

This is an anti- joke

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

What's 9+10 Ebola

Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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