- Anti Joke

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

Your girlfriend.

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

Can anyone Lenin money?

How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops