Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

penis. nuff said.

Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

Kevin and Ramin

Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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