My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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