How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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