a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops