How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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learn. advance!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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like if your cool

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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