Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops