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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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