knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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