ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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hello

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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