How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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A man was shot. He died.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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PENIS lol

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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