Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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