How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Women's rights

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops