What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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hellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohello

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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