Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Democracy.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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