so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

thumb_up thumb_down -33

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops