Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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