Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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