Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

a black man pays his child support

Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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