Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops