Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What's blue? The sky.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops