What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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