What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops