why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops