Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Steve Jobs is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did John name his dog? Doggy

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops